Spam Forty-Six: Back on Schedule

IT’S ALWAYS SCARY WHEN YOU SKIP A CHART. But don’t worry, everybody, the Chart is not pregnant. Things are back to normal. It was just a stressful time that made the Chart irregular. Speaking of which, I did receive a spam with the following subject line: Menstrual pain won’t come to you, even in nightmares. Inside, all it said was, American dream has come true.

So true.

Single women in Russia were also trying to make their dreams come true by dating (and possibly marrying, or at least having naked chats with) American men (specifically me). Of the 66 spams that catapulted Would You Chat With Me? (I Am Lonely & Probably Naked) from #18 to #6, easily more than two-thirds were of the single, lonely Russian lady variety.

Sad.

Sad that there were so many more of those and only three attempts at enticing me with promises of Celebrity Sex Related Links, especially since the “celebrities” offered were Tiffani Amber Thiessen, Jaime Pressly and Farah Summerford.

Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: Chart.

SPAM WATCH WEEK FORTY-SIX
1,360 emails
BMS = 29% (unchanged)

((1/1)) -- 390 Boner Medication (149 VPXL, 50 Viagra/Cialis, 12 MaxGain, 11 Penis Patch, 10 WonderCum, 7 LNH Maxdik, 4 Erectifix, 3 PowerEnlarge, 2 Megadik)
((2/2)) -- 293 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((3/3)) -- 213 Luxury Replica Watches/Purses
((4/4)) -- 130 Get Out Of Debt/Loan Approval
((5/5)) -- 92 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((6/18)) -- 66 Would You Chat With Me? (I Am Lonely & Probably Naked)
((7/6)) -- 22 Weight Loss (Anatrim/Phentermine)
((8/7)) -- 18 Validate Your Identity (5 BoA, 3 Sterling Savings)
((9/7)) -- 17 Foreign Gibberish
((10/7)) -- 15 Online Casino
((10/10)) -- 15 Human Growth Hormone
((10/11)) -- 15 Pheromones
((10/15)) -- 15 Stop Smoking
((15/13)) -- 13 OEM Software
((16/17)) -- 9 Improve Your Health
((17/16)) -- 7 The Bill Is Attached (As a Zip File)
((18/22)) -- 6 Job Offer/Employee Search
((19/18)) -- 5 Earn Your Degree
((20/20)) -- 4 View Your Suspicious Ecard Online
((20/22)) -- 4 Please Watch This Non-Celebrity Sex Video
((22/--)) -- 3 Some Celebrity Sex Related Link or Zip File
((22/11)) -- 3 Buy Designer Footwear
((24/--)) -- 2 Pain Relief
((25/--)) -- 1 Search Engine Optimization
((25/21)) -- 1 Your Internet Access Is Going to Get Suspended (Plus Zip File!)
((25/22)) -- 1 Your Email Address Won 500,000 Euros (downgraded from a million)

KEY:
BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week