Sunday, July 12, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The Super Broker Shuffle
IN 1985, THE CHICAGO BEARS WON THE SUPER BOWL. They did it with a combination of teamwork and effort and skill and luck. But everyone knows they only won the Super Bowl that year, because of the song they recorded during the season, "The Super Bowl Shuffle."
The song was hugely popular, climbing all the way to #41 on the Billboard charts and even getting nominated for a Grammy. Seriously. A Grammy. For best Best Rhythm & Blues Vocal Performance—Duo or Group. Amazing. Anyway, it turns out the song and video were much more popular than I knew, because it inspired this imitator -- The Southern Food Brokerage Super Broker Shuffle.
Take it away, nerds!
And in case you are unfamiliar with the song that inspired this. Here it is, in all its glory: The Super Bowl Shuffle.
Special props to Henry Vick for giving me the heads up.
The song was hugely popular, climbing all the way to #41 on the Billboard charts and even getting nominated for a Grammy. Seriously. A Grammy. For best Best Rhythm & Blues Vocal Performance—Duo or Group. Amazing. Anyway, it turns out the song and video were much more popular than I knew, because it inspired this imitator -- The Southern Food Brokerage Super Broker Shuffle.
Take it away, nerds!
And in case you are unfamiliar with the song that inspired this. Here it is, in all its glory: The Super Bowl Shuffle.
Special props to Henry Vick for giving me the heads up.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
File Under: Corporate Speak
IN A TRAGIC TURN OF EVENTS LAST NIGHT, a monorail train at Disney World crashed into another monorail train, killing the driver. It's horrible news, which was handled with an appropriate amount of sensitivity, by Mike Griffin, Disney's vice president for public affairs. Oh wait! I meant lack of sensitivity!
"Today we mourn the loss of our fellow cast member," read the statement from Griffin.
Seriously? Cast member?
A man was just killed on your monorail? Do you really have to insist upon using your corporate-decreed euphemism for "employee"? I know, in the make-believe world of your theme park, it is important to refer to employees as cast members. I'm sure you've had meetings and sent out memos about it. I'm sure there have been discussions even about whether or not it should be hyphenated. (Apparently, it should not be.) Managers are probably reprimanded if they say "employee" instead of "cast member".
I mean, seriously. Cast member! In a public statement of mourning!
That's a whole new level of douchebaggery. So congratulations to you Mike Griffin, and also to you Disney World, you guys are awesome!
"Today we mourn the loss of our fellow cast member," read the statement from Griffin.
Seriously? Cast member?
A man was just killed on your monorail? Do you really have to insist upon using your corporate-decreed euphemism for "employee"? I know, in the make-believe world of your theme park, it is important to refer to employees as cast members. I'm sure you've had meetings and sent out memos about it. I'm sure there have been discussions even about whether or not it should be hyphenated. (Apparently, it should not be.) Managers are probably reprimanded if they say "employee" instead of "cast member".
I mean, seriously. Cast member! In a public statement of mourning!
That's a whole new level of douchebaggery. So congratulations to you Mike Griffin, and also to you Disney World, you guys are awesome!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Maybe Just Hum It Instead
WOULD YOU ALL PLEASE RISE? As we honor America with this approximation of the national anthem.
And he butchered "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" even worse.
{from Lisanti}
And he butchered "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" even worse.
{from Lisanti}
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Watch Where You Put Your Probe Fingers
IT'S KIND OF A PERFECT STORM SITUATION. I mean, any headline that begins "Probe Fingers" is already worth a chuckle. But when you add American Apparel and a picture of underwear. Underwear, AP? Really? Well that, my friends, is genius.
We all had heard how sexual harassment was rampant at American Apparel. But I had no idea that nearly two thousand workers had been subjected to "probe fingers." Glad the government is all over this.
We all had heard how sexual harassment was rampant at American Apparel. But I had no idea that nearly two thousand workers had been subjected to "probe fingers." Glad the government is all over this.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
America's Favorite Cube!
THIS WILL BE MICHAEL BAY'S NEXT BIG MOVIE. Provided he only draws inspiration from crappy Saturday morning cartoons from the '80s.
I think my favorite part about this cartoon is this: When faced with the problem of turning the Rubik's Cube into a "leading man", the designers locked themselves in a room with the promise that they "would not come out until they had come up with a clever way to make an ordinary cube cuddly and adorable." But after five minutes of that nonsense they just decided to slap arms and legs and a face borrowed from a Troll Doll on the cube and call it a weekend. I mean, seriously, what's the fucking point, right?
{Thank you, Topless Robot.}
I think my favorite part about this cartoon is this: When faced with the problem of turning the Rubik's Cube into a "leading man", the designers locked themselves in a room with the promise that they "would not come out until they had come up with a clever way to make an ordinary cube cuddly and adorable." But after five minutes of that nonsense they just decided to slap arms and legs and a face borrowed from a Troll Doll on the cube and call it a weekend. I mean, seriously, what's the fucking point, right?
{Thank you, Topless Robot.}
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