The Ultimate!

SOMEHOW, THE WIFE AND I ENDED UP with two more cats. It's unclear how it happened. It was some shelter-induced kitten madness. But we ended up with two more cats and that's just the reality of our situation now. So, in order to appease our new roomies, we had to get another litter box. Now, ordinary people would just get an ordinary litter box. And that's just what I was prepared to do, as I am an ordinary person. But then I saw this:



Holy shit! The Ultimate Litter Box? I didn't even know such a thing existed! Certainly our new cats deserved the ULTIMATE experience while they were defecating! This magnificent advancement in litter box technology even promised that our cats would LOVE the litter box. While I didn't exactly believe that statement, I believed it considerably more than the promise listed below on the label. This one:



Really? The shape of this litter box is soooooo modern that it goes with any decor? Is that really a consideration when purchasing a box for your cats to poop in? Do people really think, "Oh sure, I'd love to buy this litter box, but its Prairie Style design will really clash with my Danish Modern decor."

So, you may be asking yourself, what does this Ultimate Litter Box look like? What is the "shape" that is so modern it compliments any decor? It looks exactly like this:



Trust me, that shape works great with your decor, even if everything in the room is Victorian! Even if you live in a log cabin!

Do you find that hard to believe? You're not alone. That cat doesn't look convinced either.

Of course I bought it anyway. Why wouldn't I?

Cat Food

HOW CAN YOU TELL HOW A PET IS FEELING? It can be a complicated process, I think. For instance, at our house, we have two cats, Mr. Andy Chang and Myrna, neither of which can speak, write or use sign language.

I know, annoying, right?

While we're waiting for Andy to speak his first words (a theory currently popular with my wife), Myrna is finding alternative means of communication. No, she's not using the methods of the past. She's communicating through her food. The other day, after Myrna was done eating, we saw this in her bowl.

Now, if we only knew how to translate that into human words, we might actually be able to figure out what she's trying to say.

Cute Cats Are Creepy People

JUST BECAUSE TWO CATS SLEEP CLOSE TOGETHER, doesn't necessarily mean they are the best of friends. Take, for example, the cats in the picture on the right, Myrna and Mr. Andy Chang. Despite the May-December quality of their relationship, Andy (the black and white cat) loves Myrna. Andy is convinced their age difference is no impediment. But Myrna does not want to be Maude to Andy's Harold. There is nowhere in the apartment that Myrna can go that Andy will not follow. Myrna tried to get a restraining order on Andy, but the judge said no. So, Andy just waits till she sleeps and then curls up next to her. If they were people, it would be creepy. But since they're cats, it's cute.

Not Steve Potato After All

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME to this website and to the Drake/Molyneux household....Mr. Andy Chang!!

We've had him about a month now, and he couldn't be more in love with our other cat Myrna. She, on the other hand, really doesn't want much to do with him. I guess it's to be expected. She's older; 15 to be exact. So the 14-year age difference, when translated from cat years into human years, makes the two of them something like Betty White and Frankie Muniz; an unlikely comedy duo, and even less likely as a couple.

Many people have asked where we came up with the name. Well, it's simple. Like most people, when we decided to get a cat, we first came up with the potential names, narrowing it down to two: Steve Potato (or the variant Potato Steve) and Mr. Chang. Once at the pet adoption fair, Wendy was immediately drawn to Andy, the first cat we saw (and, as it turns out, the best). And who could blame her. He was adorable and looked so sad, shivering there in his cage. Because he was black and white, like a panda, Wendy really thought he should be named Andy. (A better choice than Police Cruiser or Newspaper, for sure.) I held fast on the pre-naming idea. And since Andy Steve Potato just sounded ridiculous, we settled on Mr. Andy Chang. As a bonus, Andy has half a Hitler mustache, making him a half-Kitler. For full-out Kitlers, please visit CatsThatLookLikeHitler.com.

It's a good place to waste an hour or two.