Great, now my car has chlamydia.
Showing posts with label awesome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awesome. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Career Cut Short By Giggling
I AM ALWAYS FORGETTING WHAT MINE ARE FOR.
Some music historians would later argue that it was the unfortunate title of this album that kept the name Svetlana Gruebbersolvik from becoming a household name.
{via The Daily What}
Some music historians would later argue that it was the unfortunate title of this album that kept the name Svetlana Gruebbersolvik from becoming a household name.
{via The Daily What}
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Come For the Haircut, Stay for the VCRs
WHAT'S BETTER THAN WATCHING SOMETHING ON YOUR VCR? Watching some VCRs!
SPOILER ALERT: Panasonic is best!
SPOILER ALERT: Panasonic is best!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
A Study in Contrasts
IT'S OBVIOUS that the hot banker from Citibank who was fired for being too hot has hired a lawyer based solely on his ability to serve as a point of contrast to her hotness.
"And with her this morning is her lawyer. I don't know his name, but he is obviously half-man, half-toad. Welcome to both of you!"
Two additional things.
One: How many high-fives did the graphics department at CBS News slap after coming up with the "Sex and the Citi" graphic? At least twelve would be my guess.
Two: Listen to the "banker" speak. Listen to her words and sentences. Try to decipher not only what she is saying, but exactly what her accent is. Show your work.
Turn in your blue books at the front of the class and have a great summer!
"And with her this morning is her lawyer. I don't know his name, but he is obviously half-man, half-toad. Welcome to both of you!"
Two additional things.
One: How many high-fives did the graphics department at CBS News slap after coming up with the "Sex and the Citi" graphic? At least twelve would be my guess.
Two: Listen to the "banker" speak. Listen to her words and sentences. Try to decipher not only what she is saying, but exactly what her accent is. Show your work.
Turn in your blue books at the front of the class and have a great summer!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Every Trick in the Book
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMON-COLORED JACKETS... I guess you find another way to entertain yourself during the gig. Provided you are the drummer, that is.
{Don't blame me...blame Will.}
{Don't blame me...blame Will.}
Friday, April 30, 2010
Clear Eyes, Steelheart, Can't Lose!
DO YOU LOVE COFFEE, but feel like there's no coffee brand out there that really caters to you, to who you really are, I mean who you are in your heart of hearts? And is that secret self a water delivery guy by day but a slightly below average vocalist in a local blues-rock band that plays mostly cover tunes but is working pretty hard on a CD of original tunes by night? It is? Well, my friend, it's time I introduce you to Steelheart Coffee!
This little gem of a REAL PRODUCT punched me in the eyes at the grocery store this morning. I was hardly awake and had gone to the store specifically for coffee. And seeing this package, next to the three other equally mind-bending "flavors" from Steelheart, gave me the distinct feeling that I was still sleeping.
This package design is a trainwreck on so many levels it's hard to know where to start. Obviously I started with the "lead singer," but I could have just as easily started with the "Good 2B Alive." Firstly, why is it in quotes? Is this something someone famous said? And when they said it, did they specify that it was "2B" and not "to be," or "too bee" even? And why the change of color for the word "alive" and the end quote?
Oh my god!
The more I look at this package, the more I feel like I'm being transported back to 1988, but only the horrible parts of the decade. The "cool" font alone is nausea-inducing, and thank you, makers of Steelheart Coffee, for putting the copy in all-caps. That way I know that every word on the package is equally important. Also, it definitely makes it easier to read.
On the positive side, take another look at the "lead singer" guy! That fucker is good 2B alive, for sure! He's striding out of an Ed Hardy Jr. hellscape and into the day. Because of the microphone in his hand, I believe we are to assume he is on a stage. But I prefer to think of him as just striding down the street, pretending he's being filmed for a music video. The sun is shining and he's never felt more sure of himself.
How can he have such confidence? Is it his paler than pale torn jeans, his black tank top, his goatee? No. It's none of those things. It's his coffee.
Fuck yeah it is!
This little gem of a REAL PRODUCT punched me in the eyes at the grocery store this morning. I was hardly awake and had gone to the store specifically for coffee. And seeing this package, next to the three other equally mind-bending "flavors" from Steelheart, gave me the distinct feeling that I was still sleeping.
This package design is a trainwreck on so many levels it's hard to know where to start. Obviously I started with the "lead singer," but I could have just as easily started with the "Good 2B Alive." Firstly, why is it in quotes? Is this something someone famous said? And when they said it, did they specify that it was "2B" and not "to be," or "too bee" even? And why the change of color for the word "alive" and the end quote?
Oh my god!
The more I look at this package, the more I feel like I'm being transported back to 1988, but only the horrible parts of the decade. The "cool" font alone is nausea-inducing, and thank you, makers of Steelheart Coffee, for putting the copy in all-caps. That way I know that every word on the package is equally important. Also, it definitely makes it easier to read.
On the positive side, take another look at the "lead singer" guy! That fucker is good 2B alive, for sure! He's striding out of an Ed Hardy Jr. hellscape and into the day. Because of the microphone in his hand, I believe we are to assume he is on a stage. But I prefer to think of him as just striding down the street, pretending he's being filmed for a music video. The sun is shining and he's never felt more sure of himself.
How can he have such confidence? Is it his paler than pale torn jeans, his black tank top, his goatee? No. It's none of those things. It's his coffee.
Fuck yeah it is!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
No Exercise or Fish Oils!
PROOF THAT THE WORLD HASN'T CHANGED AT ALL in the last thirty years. Ladies are still trying to find ways to gain "welcome weight and keep it on."
You should listen to "actress" Linda Peck. She knows all about being popular. Personally, I think her best role was as "Giant Model" in Land of the Giants. Although a good case could be made for her uncredited turn as "Telethon Telephone Girl" in Valley of the Dolls.
You should listen to "actress" Linda Peck. She knows all about being popular. Personally, I think her best role was as "Giant Model" in Land of the Giants. Although a good case could be made for her uncredited turn as "Telethon Telephone Girl" in Valley of the Dolls.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Where Motorcycles Come From
MOTORCYCLES AREN'T MADE...they're summoned!
And if you shave your mustache, your motorcycle turns back into a Segway.
And if you shave your mustache, your motorcycle turns back into a Segway.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Your Hump Day Ballad
HIS NAME IS JIM SLONINA, and I'm pretty sure he's a genius.
{via Ron F***ing Swanson}
Fun with Lip-Syncing - I Who Have Nothing - watch more funny videos
{via Ron F***ing Swanson}
Thursday, January 28, 2010
How It's Done: News Reporting
ACCURACY IS EVERYTHING in news reporting. And even more so in making fun of news reporting.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Set Your DVRs!
SEASON 3 KICKS OFF THIS SUNDAY!
But, seriously, don't miss it. Because it's a great show.
Also, go see the other "Truthful TV Title Cards" Glark created here.
But, seriously, don't miss it. Because it's a great show.
Also, go see the other "Truthful TV Title Cards" Glark created here.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Re: Believing, and When to Stop
AND NOW...I WILL MELT YOUR COLD, BLACK HEARTS.
Rather, the kids of PS22 will do it. With a little help from Journey.
Rather, the kids of PS22 will do it. With a little help from Journey.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Mustache Rides!
DO YOU THINK YOU INVENTED THE COOLEST THING EVER? Well, you didn't. Because you didn't invent this.
Nice try, but you only get the silver medal in awesomeness.
(from here)
Nice try, but you only get the silver medal in awesomeness.
(from here)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Koo Koo Ka Choo!
FOR THE FIRST 23 SECONDS OF THIS VIDEO, you might think, So what. Big deal. So it's the video for Gerry Rafferty's AM radio hit "Baker Street." What's so great about that? And then the 24th second hits, and you're like, Holy shit! My life just changed! And even though it's a simple gag, it's still funny every time it happens in the video.
Who knew the walrus was Gerry?
Who knew the walrus was Gerry?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Put a Song in Your Step!
I'M CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR INVESTORS for my newest invention. I call them BirdSocks!
No no no, they aren't socks for birds. That would be stupid. They are socks made from birds.
Here is a picture of my wearing the prototype:
Feel free to leave your money in the comments section.
Thank you.
No no no, they aren't socks for birds. That would be stupid. They are socks made from birds.
Here is a picture of my wearing the prototype:
Feel free to leave your money in the comments section.
Thank you.
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