When a Kangaroo Loves a Woman

SOMETIMES THEY DO IT KANGAROO-STYLE.



That's the subtext of this ad, right? Because the nice lady with the pretty hair is definitely getting serviced from behind by the plushie kangaroo.

I'm not criticizing this advertising strategy. I just think it limits the demographic appeal of the product.

Get Your Shit Together, Sheep!

Never Trust a Dolphin

THIS HEADLINE CONFUSED ME.


I mean, I had always thought dolphins were such peaceful animals. But after hearing the taped phone conversations on Gawker, well, let's just say I was shocked.

The Unicorn Solution

AFTER A LOT OF SEARCHING I finally found the perfect illustration for the troubles facing President Obama currently. Yes, the problems are complex and yes he is facing an uphill battle. But I believed that a well-trained graphic designer or artist could probably pull it all together in a simple, clear picture.

I was right.



Wow. That totally says it all, doesn't it?

Bear Attack!

SAME THING HAPPENED to a friend of mine in West Hollywood.



{From this place via this place.}

Shark Attack!

HOLY CRAP, EVERYBODY! TIGER SHARK!

Koo Koo Ka Choo!

FOR THE FIRST 23 SECONDS OF THIS VIDEO, you might think, So what. Big deal. So it's the video for Gerry Rafferty's AM radio hit "Baker Street." What's so great about that? And then the 24th second hits, and you're like, Holy shit! My life just changed! And even though it's a simple gag, it's still funny every time it happens in the video.


Who knew the walrus was Gerry?

Put a Song in Your Step!

I'M CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR INVESTORS for my newest invention. I call them BirdSocks!

No no no, they aren't socks for birds. That would be stupid. They are socks made from birds.

Here is a picture of my wearing the prototype:



Feel free to leave your money in the comments section.

Thank you.

Their Flippers Feel So Slippery!

SO YOU GUYS NEVER ANSWERED MY EVITE... Are you or aren't you going to come to my animal rave? It's BYOSP...bring your own seal pacifier.

Our Animal Friends!

SEALS ARE SUCH ASSHOLES!



First they marry all of our Heidi Klums, then they learn the traditional Japanese style of soaking in a hot spring. Way to go, seals.

File Under: Ba-Dunk-A-Dunk

MAN, I REALLY HATE IT when my body image makes the news.



But then again, maybe I do need the reminder that it's time for me to do something about my gigantic puffy red ass.

Sad or Hilarious?

CHALK ANOTHER "W" UP for the animals in the ongoing Animals vs. Humans battle.