Olde Tyme Dating

HERE ARE SOME CLASSIC VIDEO DATING TAPES from the '80s. Please enjoy! Also, for fun, try to pick out the non-serial killer in the montage. (HINT: There is only one.)

Oh No! CalBird Are Breaking Up!

SHOCKING NEWS IN THE SPORTS WORLD! Jockey Calvin Borel announced that, for the Preakness, he will not be riding Mine That Bird, the 50-1 shot that he rode to victory in the Kentucky Derby. Here's hoping Borel is planning to just run the race himself. I for one believe it is well past time that someone in that tired old sport broke the species barrier. To think that only a pony can win those contests is literally racist.

Mommy, What Are the Animals Doing?

WATCH AND BE DISTURBED. You might think it's a short film about how animals love orgies and orange drink. But it's actually a French ad for Orangina. Whatever the case, you should watch it and then try to describe it to someone else. It's harder than you think.



Thank you, Videogum, for giving me nightmares for the rest of my life.

Breakup Etiquette

Death by Chipmunk

I JUST READ that Alvin & the Chipmunks did what is known as "boffo box office" in its opening weekend -- to the tune of $45 million. Forty-fucking-five million! In real American dollars!

Earlier in this blog, I had mentioned how just watching the trailer for the movie made me feel (spoiler alert: suicidal!). Now that I've seen how America is embracing this movie, I probably should just pull the car into the garage and start 'er up.

If only I had a garage.

Somehow I don't feel like sitting in my idling car on the street in front of my apartment will have the same effect. But maybe going to see The Bucket List will be the same as breathing car exhaust.

If that doesn't do it, there's always P.S. I Love You.

Coincidence?

I JUST SAW THE TRAILER for the Alvin & the Chipmunks movie. And now I want to kill myself.

The two things might not be related. But I'm not convinced.

Cat Food

HOW CAN YOU TELL HOW A PET IS FEELING? It can be a complicated process, I think. For instance, at our house, we have two cats, Mr. Andy Chang and Myrna, neither of which can speak, write or use sign language.

I know, annoying, right?

While we're waiting for Andy to speak his first words (a theory currently popular with my wife), Myrna is finding alternative means of communication. No, she's not using the methods of the past. She's communicating through her food. The other day, after Myrna was done eating, we saw this in her bowl.

Now, if we only knew how to translate that into human words, we might actually be able to figure out what she's trying to say.