The First Rule of Real Estate

DO I HAVE REGRETS? Oh sure, I have a few. Near the top of that list is this one.

Not long after I moved to Los Angeles, I worked in the valley, and on my commute to work, I passed this bus stop. For my entire tenure at that job, the ad on the bus stop bench was for this real estate guy who serviced the valley. Like a lot of real estate ads, it was just a picture of the agent, with his name in giant type, a "motto" (if you will) and his phone number. The guy looked a little like the picture here, only his mullet was a little shorter, his smile was a little cheesier and he wore a white tuxedo and was looking right into the camera. He may not have actually worn a white tuxedo in the picture, but in my memory, that is what he was workin'. It said his name (which I do not recall) across the top, and then below it was his motto:

Location, location, location, etc.

I passed it a hundred times and never took a picture of it. I had a camera at that time. I don't know why I never bothered to snap a quick pic. I regret it to this day. Because part of the beauty was the look on the guy's face. Like he was so proud of that motto, that he had improved the old rule of real estate.

As my wife summed it up, "What does it take to get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice, etc.!"

Heroic Mullet

I GOT SEVERAL NICE EMAILS in response to my mugging entry. You remember, it was the blog entry I wrote that mugged you as you read it? Sorry about that. I just love mugging people.

My mother responded to news of my mugging by saying, "Does that mean I'm not getting a birthday present?" Whereas my friend Lindsay was glad that I didn't "have to buy a new wallet." David recommended that I stayed away from Mugger's Corner, offering, "come to my house instead. Drop your wallet in my mailbox. Someone will return it the next day." And a reader from Bangalore appreciated my ability to "make a monkey into a chicken," which I'm guessing is idiomatic in India for "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I sort of wish it was just "when life gives you monkey, make monkey-ade" but we can't have everything. Especially not monkey AIDS.

My friend Robert had my favorite response, though, saying, "If you were truly brave, you would post the picture of you in The Answer with that heroic mullet." He's referencing a band I was in back in the '80s, in Lawrence, Kansas. We were called The Answer and we were awesome. We truly saw a million faces, and yes...we rocked them all. And during that time, I had really long hair. Long, permed hair. Long, permed, highlighted hair. With the sides shaved. It was once described as magnificent plumage.

So, to prove my bravery. Here is my "heroic mullet" -- circa 1987. I'm the guy on the left.

You're welcome.

For more even more fantastically heroic mullets, please click here.