The Sentimentalist

FINALLY, A NETWORK TV SHOW ABOUT A QUIRKY DETECTIVE!

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Putting the P Into Merchandising

NOT THAT I HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS when it comes to Kiss bassist Gene Simmons. This is a guy who is so shameless in his self-promotion that he sells Kiss coffins -- under the name Kiss Kasket, naturally. Also, Kiss Kondoms, Kiss Kamping gear and a Kiss Checkers set.

But as part of the promotion for the A&E series Gene Simmons' Family Jewels, there are urinal cakes out there with Gene's face on them. And they talk when they're hit with a stream of urine. I'm assuming they say something like, "Please stop peeing on my face. It's degrading. Please. I beg of you!"

The cakes are such a hit with fans that many are being stolen from urinals.

Adding a punch line here would seem redundant, right?

Re: Believing, and When to Stop

AND NOW...I WILL MELT YOUR COLD, BLACK HEARTS.

Rather, the kids of PS22 will do it. With a little help from Journey.

We Destroy What We Love

WHAT GOD WOULD LET THIS HAPPEN? The question isn't "Why are innocent MILFs being pounded?" The question is "Why are the MILFs being pounded with rockets?"



I'm also assuming that by "MILF lairs" they mean "Olive Gardens and Outback Steakhouses."

(via HuffPo)

The O.C.'s Finest

WHO ARE THE TWO FUNNIEST PEOPLE in all of Orange County? Sky & Nancy Collins, of course.

Sex Bomb

A TRUE STORY! Police in Syracuse, New York, cleared the Clinton Square area of downtown Syracuse today after discovering a suspicious box left at the base of the park's Civil War monument. Witnesses saw two men leave the box at the monument and walk away. Bomb disposal experts examined it and found it to be harmless, as it turned out to be a metal "Sex and the City" trivia game, very much like this one.



Here are my jokes.

...AFTER FINDING OUT it was just a Sex and the City trivia game, the bomb squad detonated it anyway.
...SAID A SPOKESMAN for the Syracuse police department, "Leaving that game on the monument steps was soooo Samantha!"
...POLICE JUSTIFIED their extreme caution, saying, "When you hear that two men were seen playing a Sex & the City trivia game, it's natural to think that something suspicious is going on."
...IT WAS THE BIGGEST threat to downtown Syracuse since the Hungry Hungry Hippo scare of '72.

What Love Is...

LAST NIGHT ON THE BACHELOR, one of the guys said to the camera, in explanation of where his head was at romance-wise, "Yeah, I am looking for that mythical unicorn."

And, later, the Bachelorette said, rather wistfully as she was totally not into that guy, "I wish I could be that unicorn he is looking for."

So, apparently, this is what love looks like:



In which case, no thank you. I do not want this "love" you speak of.