Smell You Later

I LIKE TO IMAGINE that advertising copywriters are repressed individuals who aren't trying to come up with clever copy so much as they are trying to clear their consciences of dark, dark secrets. Maybe I'm only thinking this recently because of the following ad I saw on the New York Times website.



Firstly, if you "love the smell of chair in the morning," you are a pervert. Let's just agree on that. Ordinary people don't go around smelling chairs. In my experience anyway.

That said, and understanding that this is a play on the Robert Duvall line from Apocalypse Now, why the morning specifically?

Wait, let me back up. Why choose that movie quote, out of all possible movie quotes? Obviously, it wasn't chosen because it made the most sense. Did "The chair? You can't handle the chair?" not have the right ring to it? I'd like to offer some other, equally sensible choices that I feel the advertisers at Hive rejected before settling on smelling a chair.

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty CHAIR."
"She's my daughter! She's my CHAIR! My daughter! My CHAIR! She's my CHAIR and my daughter."
"Frankly, my CHAIR, I don't give a damn!"
"Louis, I think this is the CHAIR of a beautiful friendship."
"I am SpartaCHAIR!"

I would have included, "We're gonna need a bigger CHAIR," but that makes way too much sense.

Maybe I'm missing the appeal of this though. I don't know anything about Hive. Maybe it's like the American Apparel of furniture stores. In which case, playing to the pervert crowd is smart.