I Am Who I Am

THE INTERNET CONTINUES TO BRING ME GIFTS. The latest gift that just keeps on giving is the "face recognition" link at MyHeritage.com. By uploading a picture of yourself, the good programmers at MyHeritage will be more than happy to tell you what famous people they think you look like. I did it twice, with two different pictures, one with more beard than the other. (SIDEBAR: Though the strike is over, the strike beard on my face remains. There is no telling what new protest this beard represents. Honestly, it has a mind of its own. And we're currently not speaking. It's a long story.)

Let's take a look at the first results, from the less beard-y picture.


I will admit that Donny Osmond is not much of a surprise, considering the prodigious size of both of our chompers. It's the lower part of the graphic that is most surprising to me, the six and eight o'clock celebs, Dakota Fanning and Judy Garland, both a 64% match. Making this montage even more hilarious to me is Mr. Nine O'Clock, Burt Reynolds. According to this, if Burt Reynolds and Dakota Fanning had a baby, it would look like me.

And I sort of feel sorry for Justin Timberdoodle who ends up, by association, in the same looks group as Burt and Canadian comedian Colin Mochrie. No slight to Mochrie, he's a funny guy, but neither he nor I is one-tenth as sexy as JT. Even on a good day.

Moving on to the beard-y me. What celebs does that guy look like?


Okay. Sean Hayes and Barry Williams, I can totally see. No real surprise there. However, picturing me as the illegitimate love-child of Kyra Sedgwick and Denzel Washington (however flattered I am by that comparison) does seem to be a stretch. The funniest bit of news on this montage, however, is the six o'clock comparison: Missi Pyle, who was at my wedding. Ultimately, considering the similarly large foreheads and teeth, I suppose I can see the comparison. Although I did feel like I had to apologize to Missi.

I'm not sure what it says about me or Missi that she popped up on the more beard-y photo but not at all on the clean-shaven one.