Sing to Me!

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY! And to properly celebrate it, I would like to be serenaded. Preferably by a man in a tux. And that man better have a backup dancer (but only one!), and she'd better be wearing a satin jumpsuit with white go-go boots and matching white gloves. I know that's asking a lot, but it's my birthday, and that's my birthday wish!





Wow. That was perfect. Thank you, Harvey Sid Fisher. Thank you for knowing how to ring in another awesome year.

Cute Cats Are Creepy People

JUST BECAUSE TWO CATS SLEEP CLOSE TOGETHER, doesn't necessarily mean they are the best of friends. Take, for example, the cats in the picture on the right, Myrna and Mr. Andy Chang. Despite the May-December quality of their relationship, Andy (the black and white cat) loves Myrna. Andy is convinced their age difference is no impediment. But Myrna does not want to be Maude to Andy's Harold. There is nowhere in the apartment that Myrna can go that Andy will not follow. Myrna tried to get a restraining order on Andy, but the judge said no. So, Andy just waits till she sleeps and then curls up next to her. If they were people, it would be creepy. But since they're cats, it's cute.

Lowe Lights

SO YOU THOUGHT PARTS OF THE OSCAR BROADCAST WERE AWKWARD? The crazy shadow puppet dancers were weird and pointless and (dare I say?) boring. Maybe you just need a little perspective. Or as Fletch once said: "Maybe you need a refresher course."

There now. Don't you feel better about the shadow puppets? Or do I need to dig up the footage of Ann Reinking singing Phil Collins's Oscar-nominated "Take a Look at Me Now" while Phil sat in the audience puzzled and incredibly uncomfortable?

Do you really want that?

I didn't think so. Nobody wants that.

File Under: Conan

SORT OF A CHEAP JOKE, but pretty funny nonetheless.