If you're in desperate need of booty call, Birds is the place to go. Generally you want to go Wednesday through Saturday, and definitely get there by the start of happy hour. Then you want to look for a dark Asian girl with a saddlebag derriere and a flat chest named Nan. She is a regular (but not like the local neighborhood regulars...she drives an hour each night to get to Birds) who likes to introduce new customers to the bar, as well as her licentious body and dances on the bar pretty much every night in clothes most likely bought at the lewd clothing boutiques on Hollywood Blvd. Typically, this is how it goes. You can just meet her, get her completely drunk, bring her home, and have what you would consider mediocre fornication, but hey! It's an easy lay, and it's for free! It definitely balances out the amount of money you might spend on booze, and the food (which is relatively decent). Definitely give it a try........it's as easy as 1, 2, 3!
Poor Nan. It isn't bad enough that she is flat-chested and has a saddlebag derriere, she's also only capable of mediocre fornication. It's very sad.
