Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Spam Twenty-Five: Black Tuesday

THIS HAS TO BE A BAD SIGN. The spam numbers keep dropping. Certainly the Fed must be looking at this too. I mean, what is Ben Bernanke saying about this in the halls of power? What does this say about the state of the economy, about the strength of the dollar? Also, and I don’t want to startle anyone or cause a panic, but something has happened on the Chart for the very first time ever.

Boner Meds have dropped out of the #1 spot... having been replaced this week by Replica Watches.

I know, it’s disturbing. It’s like the whole world has gone crazy. Black is white, on is off, up is down. Does this mean that fanny packs are in again? That leg warmers are back? That the Soviet Union and Asia (the band) have reformed? That Robin Williams is relevant again? It can’t mean that, can it?

What does it say about our society if mass emailers think we care more about what’s on our wrists than how prodigious our man-staffs are? My cucumber length is still important to me! I still want to grow a monster in my pants! I still desire hoariness on my salmon!

Obviously, we are experiencing a time of turmoil. Overall spam emails have dropped nearly 40% in just three weeks. The BMS reached a new low of 27%. Boner Meds were within 15 emails of dropping to #3 on the chart. Third place? Unthinkable! Even news that I might have won $2.5 million in the Online Cyber Lotto did not soothe my troubled soul. These are scary times, people. Who knows what the future brings?

Until then... Say hello to my little Chart!

847 emails
BMS = 27% (down 4%)

((1/2)) -- 242 Luxury Replica Watches/Purses
((2/1)) -- 233 Boner Medication (34 Viagra/Cialis, 32 MaxGain, 31 VPXL, 8 Megadik, 3 WonderCum, 1 LNH Solutions/LNH Maxdik)
((3/3)) -- 219 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((4/14)) -- 30 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((5/4)) -- 29 OEM Software
((6/5)) -- 12 Buy Designer Footwear
((7/--)) -- 11 Fake Returned Mail
((8/6)) -- 10 Online Casino
((9/16)) -- 10 Foreign Gibberish
((10/17)) -- 8 Validate Your Identity (5 eBay, 2 Chase Online, Merrill Lynch)
((11/10)) -- 7 Weight Loss (Anatrim/Phentermine/Hoodia)
((11/17)) -- 7 Would You Like to Chat & See My Pics?
((13/8)) -- 6 Earn Your Degree
((14/14)) -- 4 Human Growth Hormone
((15/9)) -- 3 We Will Approve Your Loan/Debt Relief
((15/11)) -- 3 Stop Smoking
((15/12)) -- 3 Improve Your Health
((15/13)) -- 3 Pheromones
((15/18)) -- 3 Bank Scam ($2.5 Mil. Online Cyber Lotto, 2 Hong Kong Biz Proposal)
((20/--)) -- 2 Tax Refund From the IRS
((21/--)) -- 1 Live Webcam Girls
((21/--)) -- 1 Your Ads In This Account Are Not Running

BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week

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