Thursday, March 20, 2008

Would You Like Me To Take Your Picture?

I AM BRANCHING OUT and starting a new business, taking photos of young couples. Portraits, really. Something any young couple would be proud to hang over the fireplace of their home. I have some examples of my work to show you. Sorry that they all feature the same creepy Russian couple.

EXAMPLE #1: WE'RE STARTING A FAMILY!



What I have tried to show with this photo is a sense of history. You'll notice on the wall a wedding photo of the lovely couple. Funny story about that: the wedding was just a couple of weeks before! But really, there's nothing more beautiful than a bride who is eight months pregnant. I had the couple hold up overalls for a three-year-old (a gift from yours truly!), because they had just been informed by their doctor that their child was going to be freakishly big, with a head like a globe and monster hands. The whimsical cars on the knees of his overalls, I thought, would make this monster-baby seem more adorable, and distract from his fangs and spinning eyes. Also, Skyenskya's head is on Zeljko's shoulder and he is kissing her forehead to show everyone, "We did this together. We made a monster-baby together."

EXAMPLE #2: HOORAY FOR BABIES!



I chose blue as the background, because the monster-baby will be a boy...or will have mostly boy parts. Anyway, Zeljko and Skyenskya are excited about it, and I wanted to help them show it through a photo. Here, Zeljko is playfully hiding behind Skyenskya's pregnant belly NOT because he is hiding from the authorities who have come to capture and study their monster-baby. No, that's not the message at all. He's standing (or cowering) behind her as a way to show his support. Also, once they let that monster-baby loose on the world, they'll both be able to stand behind it. The doctors tell me its growth rate will be staggering, even frightening. Trivia time! Those aren't booties for the baby's feet Skyenskya is holding, but hand-knitted horn warmers for the horns little Zeljko Jr. has on his forehead. On the sonogram they sorta look like feet. Horn-feet! On his widdle head! Too cute!

More examples later!

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