Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Spam Eighteen: Barely Legal

SPARK IT, PEOPLE! It’s 4:20 on the Chart! Big Buddha Bud has returned after a fifteen week absence. Where has this “legal pot” been all that time? My guess is either Burning Man or Amsterdam. Of course, Buddha Bud is totally legal, right? I mean, why wouldn’t it be? So, go ahead, stoners, click on that link. What’s the worst that could happen? Other than identity theft, that is.

Also back, after a briefer absence, are Human Growth Hormones and Pheromones, although just barely, with three total emails between ‘em. And new to the Chart this week is This Letter Contains A Virus, which intrigued me with its honesty even while it assured me that the aforementioned virus had been "successfully detected and cured.” Yes, cured. That’s what you do to computer viruses now, you cure them.

Having dropped down to only two spams this week, WonderCum officially earned itself absorption back into the monolith that is Boner Medication. And that's 2 out of a record-setting week 1367 emails -- one-tenth of one percent, an embarrassing number for a Boner email. A month ago, it seemed so promising, like WonderCum might be another MegaDick or the new VPXL. But WonderCum never inspired wonder, and its girth only topped out at 36 emails (3.7% of Week Sixteen’s Chart total). So goodbye WonderCum, we hardly knew ye.

Call it, Chart-o!

SPAM WATCH WEEK EIGHTEEN
1367 emails
BMS = 34% (up 1%)

((1/1)) -- 465 Boner Medication (186 VPXL, 23 Viagra/Cialis)
((2/3)) -- 265 Luxury Replica Watches/Purses
((3/2)) -- 162 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((4/7)) -- 91 Online Casino
((5/4)) -- 75 We Will Approve Your Loan
((6/6)) -- 58 OEM Software
((7/11)) -- 50 Buy Designer Footwear
((8/10)) -- 41 Some Sex Related Zip File Attached
((9/8)) -- 39 Earn Your Degree
((10/5)) -- 36 Say Goodbye to Debt
((11/17)) -- 16 Stop Smoking
((12/16)) -- 14 Weight Loss (Anatrim/Phentermine/Hoodia)
((13/9)) -- 13 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((14/12)) -- 10 Open Your Funny Postcard/E-Card
((15/20)) -- 8 Improve Your Health
((16/15)) -- 7 Validate Your Identity (2 Corporate One, 2 Wachovia)
((17/12)) -- 6 Would You Like to Chat & See My Pics?
((18/--)) -- 4 Legal Pot/Big Buddha Bud!
((19/14)) -- 3 Foreign Gibberish (1 German)
((20/--)) -- 2 Job Offer/Employee Search
((20/--)) -- 2 Human Growth Hormone
((22/--)) -- 1 Pheromones
((22/--)) -- 1 This Letter Contains A Virus

KEY:
BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week

No comments: