Spam Thirty-Seven: Celebrity Skin

THERE WAS A LOT OF CELEBRITY NEWS this week that could not be confirmed. But since the source was my spam email folder, I think it’s pretty safe to say the stories were true. Did you know, for instance, that “actress Sienna Miller has had her Brazilian-style hair permed for her upcoming Hippie movie?” Or that “Obama is anorexic over-exerciser?” Or that “Britney Spears [is] pregnant with Antichrist?” All three stories are shockingly true...according to my sources.

Nude celebrities were also popular this week, as evidenced by the Celebrity Sex Related Link or Zip File emails cracking the top 10. Not only was Jennifer Lopez “extremly naked!!!” (yes, three exclamation points), but the Naked Angelina emails continued to flow, despite “bodyguards positioned outside Jolie’s vagina.”

And let me apologize for writing a sentence that included the words “flow” and “vagina.”

That Chart really tied the room together.

SPAM WATCH WEEK THIRTY-SEVEN
1,279 emails
BMS = 31% (down 2%)

((1/1)) -- 394 Boner Medication (86 VPXL, 27 PowerEnlarge, 20 WonderCum, 19 Viagra/Cialis, 17 The Penis Patch, 13 MaxGain, 12 Megadik, 11 LNH Maxdik, 7 Erectifix)
((2/2)) -- 236 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((3/5)) -- 157 Get Out Of Debt/Payday Loans
((4/4)) -- 107 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((5/3)) -- 106 Luxury Replica Watches/Purses
((6/7)) -- 47 OEM Software
((7/6)) -- 47 Some Celebrity Sex Related Link or Zip File (12 Angelina)
((8/8)) -- 31 Online Casino
((9/10)) -- 30 Weight Loss (Anatrim/Hoodia)
((10/15)) -- 29 Stock News
((11/12)) -- 24 Pheromones
((12/--)) -- 13 Olympic Themed Spam
((13/9)) -- 11 Earn Your Degree
((14/11)) -- 8 Foreign Gibberish
((15/18)) -- 7 Human Growth Hormone
((16/14)) -- 6 Validate Your Identity (3 CitiBank, 2 eBay)
((16/16)) -- 6 Stop Smoking
((18/13)) -- 5 Improve Your Health
((19/16)) -- 4 Buy Designer Footwear
((19/--)) -- 4 The FBI is Watching Us Through Facebook
((21/20)) -- 2 Online Dating Site
((21/--)) -- 2 CNN Daily Top 10
((23/--)) -- 1 Job Offer/Employee Search
((23/--)) -- 1 Weekly Sweepstakes Winner!
((23/--)) -- 1 You Are Living in the Worst City

KEY:
BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week