Spam Thirty-Eight: Gay-Ass Astronauts

“PERFECT MAKING LOVE IS NOT A JOKE!” I’m serious, people! This is important news I have received in my emails this week. I also learned that the “Catholic Church condemns metrosexuality.” And it’s about time they did. All of that grooming can’t be good for the soul. In related news, “school board adopts gay-ass uniform policy.” From the subject line alone, I could not tell whether this was good news or bad news for students.

Also, did you hear about the astronauts? It was all over the spams: “astronauts pose with the U.S. Snoopy.” At least they didn’t pose with the Russian Snoopy, he’s totally in the mob.

And now a poem created from spam subject lines:

Naked angels seen walking in downtown.
Woman gets humped by bears.
Can you confirm it?
Got hot! So easy!
Gay marriage could be profitable

Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a Chart, you say YES!

SPAM WATCH WEEK THIRTY-EIGHT
1,492 emails
BMS = 34% (up 3%)

((1/1)) -- 506 Boner Medication (176 VPXL, 76 PowerEnlarge, 34 Viagra/Cialis, 18 Megadik, 15 Penis Patch, 10 WonderCum, 9 LNH Maxdik, 5 MaxGain, 4 Erectifix)
((2/2)) -- 340 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((3/3)) -- 201 Get Out Of Debt/Loan Approval
((4/5)) -- 92 Luxury Replica Watches/Purses
((5/4)) -- 57 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((6/21)) -- 48 CNN Email Alerts (12 Daily Top 10)
((7/7)) -- 39 Some Celebrity Sex Related Link or Zip File (3 Angelina)
((8/9)) -- 35 Weight Loss (Anatrim/Hoodia)
((9/6)) -- 29 OEM Software
((10/11)) -- 20 Pheromones
((11/12)) -- 18 Olympic Themed Spam
((12/8)) -- 14 Online Casino
((12/14)) -- 14 Foreign Gibberish
((12/15)) -- 14 Human Growth Hormone
((15/10)) -- 12 Stock News
((16/18)) -- 11 Improve Your Health
((17/13)) -- 9 Earn Your Degree
((17/16)) -- 9 Stop Smoking
((19/19)) -- 6 Buy Designer Footwear
((20/16)) -- 5 Validate Your Identity (4 Google AdWords, Colonial Bank)
((20/21)) -- 5 Online Dating Site
((22/--)) -- 3 View Your Suspicious Ecard Online
((22/--)) -- 3 Hong Kong Bank Scam
((24/23)) -- 1 Job Offer/Employee Search
((24/--)) -- 1 National Lottery

KEY:
BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week