Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Spam Thirty-Six: Spam & the Economy

WITH THE ECONOMY STILL IN THE CRAPPER, the spam bag is brimming with promises of easy money and easy escape. The Get Out of Debt emails stayed at the #5 spot, followed immediately by Naked Angelina at #6. And if those two indicators don’t spell “recession” then I guess I’m not much of an economist.

And maybe I’m not. (I am not.) But the slow fade of the Luxury Replica emails, which were long a fixture at #2, in favor of the rise of Canadian/Online Pharmacy can be interpreted as a message from the spam-o-verse that people are more concerned with health care than with luxury items. Hell, even Designer Footwear (#16) is dropping almost off the Chart these days. See? People can't afford to spend their extra money on watches, purses and shoes made by Gucci, Patek Phillipe and Rolex anymore. They only want to assure the quality of their boners.

It's classic Keynesian economics!

(Only it isn't. Or maybe it is. I don't really know what Keynesian economics is.)

On the speculative front, three separate spins on the Nigerian Bank Scam popped up, landing at #19, oddly enough none from Nigeria, claiming to represent vast sums of money from South Korea, Spain and Hong Kong. And Stock News, which for many months was nowhere to be seen on the Chart, is storming back. Well, if not exactly storming back, at least it’s on the rise, up six spots this week to #15.

See? The economist in me (there isn’t one) is telling me these are all signs of economic downturn, of a nervous population hoping for more stability and leadership. It’s not really a good sign, I don’t think, for where we’re going. Unless...

Where we’re going, we don’t need Chart.

1,250 emails
BMS = 33% (up 2%)

((1/1)) -- 411 Boner Medication (97 VPXL, 34 Viagra/Cialis, 25 PowerEnlarge, 15 LNH Maxdik, 13 MaxGain, 9 WonderCum, 9 Megadik, 6 Erectifix)
((2/2)) -- 254 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((3/3)) -- 159 Luxury Replica Watches/Purses
((4/5)) -- 138 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((5/5)) -- 52 Get Out Of Debt/Loan Approval
((6/7)) -- 39 Promises of Naked Angelina Jolie Movie
((7/4)) -- 37 OEM Software
((8/8)) -- 25 Online Casino
((9/12)) -- 17 Earn Your Degree
((10/9)) -- 16 Weight Loss (Anatrim/Hoodia)
((11/16)) -- 15 Foreign Gibberish
((12/14)) -- 14 Pheromones
((13/11)) -- 13 Improve Your Health
((14/10)) -- 12 Validate Your Identity (3 Chase Online, 2 eBay, 2 Google AdWords)
((15/21)) -- 11 Stock News
((16/13)) -- 10 Stop Smoking
((16/17)) -- 10 Buy Designer Footwear
((18/14)) -- 7 Human Growth Hormone
((19/--)) -- 3 Nigerian Bank Scam (South Korean, Hong Kong, Spain)
((20/17)) -- 2 Online Dating Site
((20/--)) -- 2 Zorbeez
((20/--)) -- 2 Fake Undeliverable/Returned Email
((23/--)) -- 1 Win a Custom Chopper!
((23/--)) -- 1 Air Passenger Fuel Surcharge Settlement Notice

BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week

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