Spam Thirty-Four: All Quiet on the Boner Front

IN A TUMULTUOUS TIME, it is comforting to see such stability on the Boner Chart. Even though a giant lender in California went belly-up (prompting a spike in Get Out Of Debt/Loan Approval emails), the Chart arrives fairly unruffled from last week. Nearly half of the categories remained steady in their slots or moved a mere 1 or 2 notches total. The notable exceptions were the lowly (and peculiar) All Kinds of Embroideries returning to the Chart after a 20-week absence, Get Out Of Debt re-entering at a lofty #5 and Buy Designer Footwear plummeting from #7 to #16.

Other than that, all seemed business as usual on the Chart, with spammers wanting to know if I wanted “to be ready for sexxxx in a one seconds?” I was also reminded, “Don’t be sad about badboner. We will help you!” And when I needed to be lifted up with positive thinking and a call to action, I looked no further than my junk mailbox: “Hey, cat dick!” someone shouted. “You can make it much bigger, what are you waiting for?”

I don’t really have an answer to that one.

The Chart do take a bite, don’t she?

SPAM WATCH WEEK THIRTY-FOUR
1,492 emails
BMS = 34% (up 5%)

((1/1)) -- 512 Boner Medication (130 VPXL, 48 Viagra/Cialis, 30 MaxGain, 26 PowerEnlarge, 16 WonderCum, 13 LNH Maxdik, 11 Erectifix, 2 Megadik)
((2/2)) -- 309 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((3/3)) -- 214 Luxury Replica Watches/Purses
((4/4)) -- 95 OEM Software
((5/--)) -- 56 Get Out Of Debt/Loan Approval
((6/6)) -- 48 Online Casino
((7/8)) -- 42 Weight Loss (Anatrim/Hoodia)
((8/5)) -- 41 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((9/10)) -- 27 Stop Smoking
((10/10)) -- 25 Human Growth Hormone
((11/9)) -- 24 Pheromones
((12/12)) -- 21 Improve Your Health
((13/15)) -- 20 Free Dowloadable Porn DVDs
((14/14)) -- 13 Validate Your Identity (5 Capital One, 3 Colonial Bank)
((15/13)) -- 10 Earn Your Degree
((16/7)) -- 9 Buy Designer Footwear
((17/--)) -- 8 Foreign Gibberish
((18/17)) -- 6 Job Offer/Employee Search
((19/17)) -- 4 Online Dating Site
((19/19)) -- 4 Stock News
((21/--)) -- 1 Some Sex Related Zip File Attached
((21/-)) -- 1 All Kinds of Embroideries
((21/-)) -- 1 Win This Hour’s Cash Prize!
((21/-)) -- 1 The First Indoor Electric Turkey Fryer

KEY:
BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week