Spam Eleven: The Spammening

SORRY FOR THE ONE-DAY DELAY. I have no excuse for not bringing you your spam report yesterday, other than to say I was rescuing orphaned toddlers and adorable kittens from a burning submarine. But I suppose that’s not good enough for you, is it?

I really do try to keep my promises, I do. I only wish the senders of the spam would do the same. Especially the one that promised “Harry Potter fucks Britney Spears in her big ass in your attachment ;)” If I could trust this stranger (and I’m tempted to because of the winking emoticon), I might open the zip file just to see Britney take it in the pail from a fictional character. It’d still be worth watching if they meant Daniel Radcliffe. Although, I must be honest, both versions of that pairing seem fairly unlikely.

Remember: "If you want to fuck somebody, fuck yourself and save your money!" I don’t really mean that because “It’s motto for losers! Are you loser? To my mind you’re not!”

No you’re not. You’re a winner. And a winner wins a new Chart.

SPAM WATCH WEEK ELEVEN
723 emails
BMS= 48% (down 11%)

((1/1)) -- 349 Boner Medication (107 VPXL, 67 Viagra/Cialis, 30 MegaDick)
((2/2)) -- 129 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((3/3)) -- 54 Rolex/Luxury Replica Watches
((4/4)) -- 40 Online Casino
((5/7)) -- 28 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((6/5)) -- 25 OEM Software
((7/9)) -- 12 Foreign Gibberish
((8/10)) -- 11 Validate Your Identity (5 National City Bank, 2 Commerce Bank, 2 eBay)
((8/8)) -- 11 We Will Approve Your Loan
((10/12)) -- 9 Earn Your Degree
((11/10)) -- 7 Weight Loss/Anatrim
((12/15)) -- 6 Buy Shoes
((13/10)) -- 5 Improve Your Health
((14/12)) -- 3 Stop Smoking
((14/-)) -- 3 You Have Messages
((14/18)) -- 3 View My Profile/Pictures/Vote For Me
((17/-)) -- 2 Fake Returned Email (Failure Notice)
((17/15)) -- 2 Get Out of Debt Free
((17/-)) -- 2 Piece & Fantasy In Mind
((17/-)) -- 2 Would You Like to Chat & See My Pics?
((17/18)) -- 2 Pheromones
((17/23)) -- 2 Human Growth Hormone
((17/-)) -- 2 Stock News
((17/-)) -- 2 iTunes Replacement $.15 a Track
((17/1-) -- 2 New Way to Rend DVDs
((26/-)) -- 1 Your Financial Worries Could Be Over
((26/23)) -- 1 Employee Search
((26/-)) -- 1 Stop Paying Too Much for Auto Insurance
((26/12)) -- 1 Dating Site: Interested Ladies
((26/-)) -- 1 Increase The Web Traffic to Your Site
((26/-)) -- 1 New Career in Massage Therapy & Bodywork
((26/-)) -- 1 I Dream of You
((26/-)) -- 1 Bank Scam (Money Left By Iraqi Oil Baron)
((26/-)) -- 1 Reach Out & Bone Someone
((26/-)) -- 1 Perfect Valentine’s Gift

KEY:
BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week