Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Spam-A-Lot, Week 8

THE BIG QUESTION FOR WEEK EIGHT’S SPAM CHART is, obviously, "isn't it derogatory when they call your penis a baby carrot?" The answer may surprise you, because the answer is no. Baby carrots are delicious and very good for you. So, not derogatory at all.

Week Eight brought in 511 emails, making it the most spammy chart yet, topping the previous high of 494 emails. Despite that surplus, however, it appears to be the end of an era. Never in the history of The Chart have so few MegaDick emails been recorded in a week. Only 15 MegaDick emails, down from an already low mark in Week Seven of just 30. Remember those good old days of when we were swimming in MegaDick? When there were more than 55 (Week Six & Week Two), more than 70 (Week Three & Week One) or even 91 (Week Four). Don’t tell me those magnificent days are over. Please.

Sadly, now Boner Medication is all about VPXL, which came on so suddenly (Sudden Onset VPXL?) I wasn't able to accurately track it this week. I'm guessing there were about 90 VPXL emails this week. We'll see how the numbers stack up next week.

New to the chart this week are View My Profile/Pictures! (#11), Happy New Year Click on This (#16) and We Will Approve Your Loan (debuting big at #6). Two of the most useless pieces of new spam came in the form of Selected Into Madison Who's Who and All Kinds of Embroideries! (both bottoming out the chart at #19). How enticing is either sales pitch? I mean, really. Madison, Wisconsin wants me? Wow! The Madison, Wisconsin? And not just any kind of embroidery but all kinds? It's like every day is Christmas!

Dropping off the chart this week are Here Is a Video, Stock News and Bank Scam. But most notable is the prolonged absence of Personal Pussy and Bigger/Better Boobs, now AWOL for the second week in a row. If the future doesn't contain a Personal Pussy and Bigger/Better Boobs, I'm not sure I want to live there.

Get down with the Chart!

511 emails
BMS = 48% (up 1%)

((1/1)) -- 243 Boner Medication (15 MegaDick, 58 Viagra/Cialis)
((2/3)) -- 73 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((3/2)) -- 56 Rolex/Luxury Replica Watches
((4/4)) -- 29 Online Casino
((5/6)) -- 23 OEM Software
((6/-)) -- 19 We Will Approve Your Loan
((7/6)) -- 7 Inspecific "Look at this!"
((7/10)) -- 7 Weight Loss/Anatrim
((9/5)) -- 6 Foreign Gibberish (1 German)
((9/8)) -- 6 Validate Your Identity (eBay, PayPal, etc.)
((11/10)) -- 5 Stop Smoking
((11/10)) -- 5 Improve Your Health
((11/16)) -- 5 Dating Site: You Have Messages/Interested Ladies (Russian Brides)
((11/-)) -- 5 View My Profile/Pictures! (And vote for me!)
((11/16)) -- 5 Earn Your Degree
((16/15)) -- 4 Pheromones
((16/9)) -- 4 Human Growth Hormone
((16/-)) -- 4 Happy New Year Click on This!
((19/-)) -- 1 Selected Into Madison Who's Who
((19/18)) -- 1 Employee Search
((19/18)) -- 1 Buy Shoes
((19/-)) -- 1 All Kinds of Embroideries!
((19/10)) -- 1 Would You Like to Chat?

BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week

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