Thursday, October 25, 2007

You're Bearly in the Black!

JUST SAW THIS CURIOUS AD while on The Futon Critic. Which really helped me understand my credit score.

But what I don't understand is why all of the bears are smiling. Even the Poor Credit Bear is smiling in that "what's up?" sort of way. He's green, the color of "go", the color of money, and for some reason that's bad. Okay, whatever. But why the smile, dude? Isn't it bad enough that my credit is total suck-town? What the fuck does that guy know that I don't?

Also, why's his smile exactly the same as the Good Credit Bear and the Fair Credit Bear? Shouldn't the various bears' expressions tell me something about my credit? Or are they all just smiling because they've had unfettered access to my personal information and now they've totally got me by the balls. Maybe they're also drunk. The more I look at those guys, the less I trust them. And the more I think they're probably high, not drunk. They do look a little like the Grateful Dead bears. Oh yeah, they're fuckin' high, man. Probably trippin' too.

A final question: Why is red the color of Excellent Credit? Red, the color of warning -- as in "a red flag", "code red" or "my spending is out of control; I'm always in the red." So, red is excellent now? I'm not sure that makes much sense. I guess it shouldn't surprise me though. Of course a bunch of stoned bears think red is a good color, they're stoned!

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