We Don't Need No Water...

NOTHING MAKES A TRAGEDY SEEM MORE REAL than finding out how it affects celebrities. This is especially the case currently with the wildfires in Southern California. Just look at today's news on IMDB.com, where the top three headlines are wildfire-related. Finally, a famous face has been put on this tragedy. Now, I can properly process this information.

Before it was like, "A bunch of houses burned down." But now it's like, "Holy shit! Tori Spelling's B&B is in danger! How can I help avert this tragedy? Or should I assist the fire, knowing that it will only make for awesome future episodes of Tori & Dean: Inn Love? That is a real dilemma."

In other wildfire/celebrity news, there's this tidbit of Movie Marketing Irony. Billboards for this film are all over fire-devastated Southern California right now.

Yeah, that's a little awkward. Just a little.

But even more awkward than that is this: You just know that there's some creepy exec from that studio who is wracking his brain for a way to turn the wildfires into a "cross-platform marketing opportunity". "It's a slam-dunk, people!" he's saying in a boardroom right now. "Nothing exploitative, of course. But it seems like a natural opportunity for synergy. So keep it classy and tasteful. I want five ideas from each of you on my desk by lunchtime. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my assistant to give me a handjob."