Memories of The Juice

I POSTED THESE HERE BEFORE, but with today's sentencing of O.J. Simpson, I felt a little pang of nostalgia to the good ol' days when O.J. was simply known as the guy who got away with killing his wife and her boyfriend, and before he became known as the guy who masterminded an armed assault to get back some football paraphernalia in Vegas. 

Oh, those were simpler times. Times during which I was working on a daytime talk show and me and the three other writers on the show (including the wife) came up with the following O.J.-related gems, which the fine people at McSweeney's decided to publish.

Those days are gone now, as The Juice is facing somewhere between 8 and 33 years, depending upon which reputable newspaper you believe, for kidnapping and armed robbery. Oh, innocent (or at least acquitted) times, where have you gone?

Please enjoy.