Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Spam Twenty-Two: A Spam to Remember

THIS WEEK’S CHART HAS SOME ADVICE FOR YOU, being so kind as to offer up “3 tips to dirty dance into her pants.” Tip #1: Enlarge your cucumber length. After you “think over your cucumber size” and take a few moments to “ask your girls why big cucumber is better than small one,” you will certainly decide it is time to enlarge your cucumber length. Not just your cucumber, but your cucumber length. There is a difference. Tip #2: Enlarge your banana length. This is, apparently, different than your cucumber length. But it too needs to be enlarged. “Your banana is too small,” so enlarge it. After which, you will be happy. Finally, Tip #3: Grow a monster in your pants. One way to do this is to “increase your big daddy size.” Once you have done these three things, you should certainly be able to dirty dance into any lady’s pants.

Now, notes on this week’s spam. First, I’ve begun following some up and coming (pun intended...zing!) Boner Meds, namely LNH Solutions (also known as LNH Maxdik) and MaxGain, as well as the underperforming stalwart WonderCum. One of these may eventually usurp VPXL atop the Boner heap, but it will take quite a push. What with the 175 VPXL emails this week, over a third of the Boner emails. I’ll watch them anyway. Just to see what they do.

This week’s Bank Scam involves the European Sweepstakes Promotion. So get your sweepstakes entries in soon. And new on the Chart is Fake Returned Mail. As if I had actually been trying to send out a bunch of Boner emails myself. A very interesting spam ploy. Very interesting.

Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy Chart!

1375 emails
BMS = 38% (down 2%)

((1/1)) -- 517 Boner Medication (175 VPXL, 68 Viagra/Cialis, 20 LNH Solutions/LNH Maxdik, 8 WonderCum, 5 MaxGain)
((2/3)) -- 321 Luxury Replica Watches/Purses
((3/2)) -- 212 Canadian/Online Pharmacy
((4/5)) -- 56 OEM Software
((5/4)) -- 50 Buy Designer Footwear
((6/7)) -- 43 Online Casino
((7/--)) -- 26 Fake Returned Mail
((8/9)) -- 21 Earn Your Degree
((9/6)) -- 20 We Will Approve Your Loan/Debt Relief
((10/11)) -- 19 Weight Loss (Anatrim/Phentermine/Hoodia)
((11/17)) -- 17 Stop Smoking
((12/12)) -- 15 Improve Your Health
((13/15)) -- 11 Pheromones
((14/8)) -- 10 Inspecific “Look at this!”
((14/18)) -- 10 Human Growth Hormone
((16/14)) -- 9 Foreign Gibberish
((17/10)) -- 8 Validate Your Identity (3 Comerica, 3 BofA)
((17/13)) -- 8 Would You Like to Chat & See My Pics?
((18/15)) -- 1 Bank Scam
((18/--)) -- 1 Job Offer/Employee Search

BMS = Boner Medication Saturation
((this week's rank/last week's rank))
-- = new to the chart this week

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